Link, having dealt with one problem turns to go find and possibly kill the golden lady, but is stopped by the hippy. Somewhere along the line she’s gotten a line of blood acrost her face. It isn’t hers Link made sure of that, its more than likely his. He can feel his shreaded cheek still pumping blood into his mouth, not wanting to swallow it he spit’s onto one of the people whos lives he just made significantly less comfortable. That guy, surprisingly enough, hits like a girl. Tears were welling up in her eyes and somewhere deep down inside the strange soft spots inside Link that are still human he realizes that he’s done something terribly terribly wrong, though for the life of him he can’t figure out what it is.
Unknowing what to do, how to respond, or even if she should wipe his blood off of her face she could only say the first thing that comes to mind, “Where did you go? And what the fuck are those bugs that are crawling on you?”
Surprised Link looks down for the first time realizing that improbably not only are the bugs real, but that there are still some crawling around on him. Hastily wiping off the rest of the bugs, he looks around his body. The golden glitter is gone, but there is still traces of bright yellow ichor form the, whatever, on his boot still. Casually he starts wiping the stuff on one of the blonde boys but it seems like it is here to stay. Strange. The hippy girl is sill lost, he looks up at her trying to smile but it comes out more as an embarrassed smirk than a comforting smile. He knew it was bad though. In all the time he’s known her she’s never sworn, and she’s only raised her voice once. Now she just did both at the same time. The golden lady can wait, “Come on, lets get the fuck away from this place”
She didn’t need to be told twice, before his sentence got out his mouth she’s already stalking twords the door, carefully stepping around the black bugs and over the couples who while still on the floor had all eyes fixed upon him. Before he can leave the barkeep catches Link’s arm, “Watch out now. They don’t let things go easily”
Link smiles, “I’ve spit into the eyes of the pale rider. They are going to have a hard time getting a spot in line”. Not wishing to be detained further he breaks away and runs after the hippy.
He can here the barkeep calling after him, “It isn’t you who should be worried dip shit”
Link sighs as he catches up to the hippy who is already at the ladder climbing up to the main bar. The main bar looks more or less exactly the same as they left it. Except the blonde boys in the corrner, they are no longer carrying on. Instead they are staring at them with criminal intent. Link meets their glare as they cross the room and the four of them at the table slowly starts to rise, except for wolf eyes. H remains seated. The two pf them square off, but whatever it is that would of happened is headed off when the hippy grabs Link by the ear and marches him out into night.
The air has cooled. Clouds race across the sky. He could feel his words welling up inside of him. Things which ne heeds to say to keep her around her. Things he wants to say so that she would understand that somewhere along the lines things have gone critically wrong with him. He wants to explain that he will save her from whatever and that she doesn’t need to be afraid. He sees it coming from miles away, and does nothing to stop it. It hits him on his good cheek. Considerate to the end. She turns on her hell and stalks off into the woods. As she disappears he can almost see foxes chasing off after her. What the hell is up with this place, it is like a magnet for freaks.
Unsure of what to do, he gets in the car and waits. He doesn’t expect the hippy to come back. He’s more concerned about the blonde boys deciding to go after her. Dawn starts to show up and now one has left the bar. Alone Link heads back to the campus.
It’s been a week and a half since the incident at the bar. It has been a week and a half since the summer has almost come full circle and I find myself alone once again. This is a strange feeling for me. For the vast majority of my life I’ve been this way. However, this is the first time that I have actually feel that way. I don’t know what do now. Strange.
And so I find myself back here again at 4:30am, I still haven’t slept, I don’t remember sleeping last night, it might of happened though. While time has passed I still feel myself stuck back at the night at the bar. Why did I do all of that. I mean back in the day this sort of thing is just simply what I did most weekends. Having sex with unfamiliar people in the dirt, while getting into a fight with some assholes who happen to be wandering around getting in my or Sara’s way. Mostly Sara’s. Jesus I did things like this to and for her week after week as we slid deeper and deeper into the dark crevices that lie in wait around South Florida’s calm suburban exterior. I hated that place so intensly that it caused me to hate myself and everything around me. Maybe I shouldn’t of broken that one guy’s fingers. Still playing off their fear is important surely she should be able to see that.
Deep down though I have the feeling that she’s angry that all of it happened. Why though. Why did she want to go to that place. It should serve as no surprise to anyone reading this that I went back to that bar a couple of days later and all I found was a white pentagram stray painted in the parking lot. White Lady, gold lady, there is something up with those two. It was the white lady that got us to go out there. Thinking back now though I don’t know how it is we got directions there. For some reason I remember using Mapquest but I clearly didn’t. I have no memory of how we ended up there. I don’t think I would of even of recognized the abandoned lot if it weren’t for the pentagram. Then again I might have been in the wrong place. Speaking of the lady in white I haven’t seen her around lately and while I occationally feel the creey christian wandering around behind me I have yet to see her. If it wasn’t for hippy I am not even sure I would believe that she excists. As for the golden lady? The last thing I need is something like that running around my life so we’ll just put her so far on the back burner that we won’t have to think of her ever a fucking gain.
It took the hippy a full day to reemerge on campus. I think something happened to her in the woods. I have no idea what it could possibly be, but there is something out there. Something that isn’t the color ladies, and it isn’t the wolf boys, or the shitty bars. I’ve spent the last three days looking into transpiercing schools. I have a couple of potential contenders but I am not sure where it is I can go. To leave this place is to admit defeat to my parents. To demonstrate to them they I can not cut it out of their warm comforting embrace. Now see? Fuck that. Still I think that if I might stay here I will more than likely end up dead. Recently I’ve been trying to manage it so that I can do it without anyone knowing that I’ve gone. I have the money, it is mostly the issue of pride. I can’t just leave here.
Before she showed back up I went to go check on the bird. It is healing up just fine and it seems to like me, or at the very least it isn’t relentlessly pecking at my hand anymore which is pleasantly nice. Cause that little fucker hurts. It occurs to me now that I won’t be around to see it fly away which actually gives me a pretty serious pang of regret. That bird is one of the few good things I’ve done which is pretty nice. I won’t be able to see it through though. I know hippy will take care of it though and that is pretty much good enough for me.
There is also the hippy. I’ve dragged her into something, something strange and terrible. Something that brought even me to the brink of absolute madness and that is no easy thing to do. Sit is something that she is now a part of. I owe it to her at the very least to stick around and make sure that she is okay. Everything that happned in the bar, it isn’t over. Why her though? Why fuck with her? She doesn’t shower to the best of my knowledge, there were litterally a dozen of naked women three times more attractive than her writhing on the floor ready and willing to accept them. So why her? I have a feeling that she is cursed like me. There is something up with her. It is tied to that green vest, to the way she doesn’t swear, and to the way she walked up to me for the first time and talked to me.
Now we are separated. I don’t think she understands what she is though. Most people don’t though. There doesn’t seem to be anyone like Sara up here though and that is an absolute relief. That women… she would of ruined my life if I hadn’t gotten to it first.
I have to say though. There is something to be said for the solitude. Things have been quiet. I’ve begun to write again, and I am starting to find more and more time to do…I don’t know things. I’ve been getting more reading done that is for sure, and I might even start to try writing again. I’ll need to hide it though. I remember what happened the last time I tried to write. That is where most of the scars on my left side came from.
My scars. In a way every single one of them is self inflicted. In another way though they are just what happens when you life a life the way I do. One day to the next, confident that the cuts will either heal or be irrelevant. For awhile I felt so normal around the hippy, and now that she is gone I am not entirely certain what to do about it. Back to her again, full circle. My life is full of women and each and every single one of them are insane. I tried to find things to do around town, things that will force me to engage with other people but they’ve all failed. Even my room mate seems to of disappeared without a trace. Much like the hippy I never did know his name. See? Now there is a habit I need to get around to breaking. People have names. Even if they are really stupid family names like this one.
Its 5am now. I am alone. The Hippy should be able to take care of herself. We are not kids anymore, and who is to say that she couldn’t of, taken care of herself. I miss my gun. I miss the uncertainty of tomarrow. To end my day by lying down and closing my eyes and when I snap away again 90 minutes latter I can risk it all in the hopes that there just won’t be any more tomorrows. I want my gun. I can use it, right now. It will be okay, because nothing will be my problem anymore… wait fuck she called my name. She called my name and I wasn’t there. Was the whole thing a trap? What is going on? I’ve gone for so long not really giving half a fuck about anyone or anything and now all the sudden I am not putting a gun to my head for some hippy girl who’s name I don’t know and who has forsaken me? What the fuck is that shit? I’ve never done this before, not even in front of Sara. Hell I’ve done it in front of her just to show her how little her desires for me to keep living matters to me.
Making a hasty move right now might not be for the best. I need to think on this. Because while all the weird shit may not follow me. I will still be the same person on the inside.
I’m going to go work out then meditate, and hopefully start to find some answers. There is an orientation today, those are always amusing.