Monday, November 23, 2009

And this is 18 WC 2046

Then another and another. Forturnatly for Link they pass slowly and without inscident. He goes from class, back to room with little to no fanfare and by the third day he was more or less back to 75% percent, which is good enough for him. Hippy want’s to meet him for some thing, he isn’t sure what it is but she’s apparently been busy over the last couple of days while he’s healing up. Quietly he hopes it involves going out to Walmart, the majoritiy of his first aid supplies just got used up and with the way things generally go around him, it’s far better to have to much rather than to little.
For the first time in an extrodinarly long time Link is in a good mood. Fresh out of the shower, just having had worked out Link readys his gun. Ordinarly, this ritual only happens between 4:30 and 6:30 in the morning. But between healing, sleeping late, exercising longer than usual the gun kept getting put off longer and longer until it finally became a shit or get off the pot sort of deal. Humming quietly to himself, still naked from the shower he puts his one bullet in, spins the chamber and right when the gun goes to his head, the Hippy bursts through the door, the sentence, “Are you ready to go yet dying on her lips as she fully registers the scene layed out before her. Face reddening first with embarasment then becoming a mask of horror she lets loose a single sob before bolting from the room.
“Fuck. Well that possibly couldn’t be any more awkward”. Click, “Damnit” Click, click. The hammer smashed down upon the three empty cilinders, once it seems that whatever out there that has been keeping him alive this long has something for Link to do today, “Motherfucker. God you are one cold cruel son of a bitch”. Flipping the switch from the end of all things, to man of action is a fairly easy thing for Link and he does so quickly. There are now things to do, first step get dressed. Whatever happens next, no one else gets to see him naked today. The wounds on his chest are mostly healed, so much so that at least now they don’t need to be constantly bandaged, the fact that they healed suspiciously quickly is lost on him as he starts digging around for a clean shirt to wear. He’d been putting off laundery for to long. Then came the issue of the gun. If she tells anyone about it they will search the room and take it from him, then they will call his parents, and then, well fit covered shans will be the least of his problems. Hiding it in his room is now problematic. They will tear the whole place apart, and keeping it on him has similar problems. With no one to turn to for help Link packs everything else into his bag. He needs to get the gun to somewhere where they will never be able to find it, then he needs to find the hippy girl and explain to her what happened, then get her to forgive him, and while he is thinking of the impossible he might as well throw in a pony ride.
Then it hits him. In the building with the secret cafeteria, there is a hidden computer lab and in that lab is a row of abandoned lockers one of which has to have no lock on it. Working quickly he grabs box he keeps the gun in out of its hiding place and takes the pad lock off of it. Then carefully onloading it (he was one trigger pull from freedom, utter bullshit), he throws the gun and all ammunition into his bag. As he takes the back stairs out of the dorm he hears housing people tromping down the hall twords his dorm room calling out name in a sort of dull half panic. The kind where you believe something is wrong but they don’t really know or care about what it is. Thankfully this ruckus causes them to leave the front desk unattended and he is able to slip out the back doors of the dorm. Stopping briefly to crack his neck it is time to see just how well he has healed up. His pack weighs at least 30 pounds, and he needs to get across the campus which involves a steep hill and a half mile full of obsticles.
One dead run later he arrives at the building which is thankfully mostly empty. Quickly slipping inside though a side enterence he wanders the back hallways of this building that is actually a hell of a lot bigger than it looks until he finds them. A row of lockers big enough to hold some books and other junk in. Quickly tossing the gun inside and locking it shut he then turns his atension on everything else that is going on. He has class in two hours and he really can’t miss that and it would help to have this done before then. He feels a whisper of a presence behind him and as he turns he hears her voice coming from the opposite direction, “It’s a sin against god”. Before he can turn around again to confront her she is gone, a class door sliding shut. He doesn’t bother looking inside. The creepy christian puts as much importance on vanishing as batman does.
Link, sighs, “This is fucking ridiculous”. Not wanting his room tossed by half witted housing goons he charges back twords his dorm, and he arrives back at his room right when they use a master key to unlock the door. They look at him with a sort of stupefied expression, “Can I help you with something?” Link adds to himself, “Does it really take five people to talk though a door, give up, find a master key, and open it? I’ve been gone for over 15 minuts what the hell have you people been doing”
It’s such a sad thing when you see people in charge at a loss for words, so when they start frantically looking at each other for help they know that none is forth coming. Eventually one of them, the girl who is supposed to be running the front desk, speaks up, “We heard that you might be trying to kill yourself in there”
Link blinks hoping he is looking surprised and kind of offended, “Well I just got back from running all over campus trying to sort out a couple of things for one of my classes, so I wasn’t even there”
Cluelessness, it is like a breath of fresh cool air on an unusually hot day, “Well, umm do you mind if we take a look around?”
Link shrugs, “Be my guest folks, you might as well you already have the door open after all”
Awkwardly, the group of them flood into the room. They make a very brief superficial search, find absolutely nothing, and then start to look a little lost, “Sorry about all of this, we didn’t get to much information. Your friend the hippy girl just stopped at the desk, said you were trying to kill yourself and ran off before we could get anything more out of her, she seemed very upset”
Ephany, “I know what it was she must of found this” and from his desk draw he pulls his suicide note, “I’m not very good at it but I do write occationally. One of the character’s in my story is suicidal and this is one of my many rough drafts. She didn’t find this one I’m sure but she most definatly found one of them. She doesn’t know I do it, when she found it and saw I wasn’t here she must of panicked and went looking for me after telling you whatever it is she told you”
The front desk girl, the one he handed the note to is reading it, she hands it over impressed, “Well it is very convincing, that’s for certain. Are you taking creative writing any time soon?”
Link laughs, “God I tried it once not to long ago, but my teacher was an asshole and everyone in the class was terrible. I’ve honestly never had a productive work shopping experience”. She looks like she wants to talk to him some more which is really the last thing Link needs right now so he adds, “but if you all will excuse me I have an upset friend to find, and calm down, ever since her girlfriend broke up with her things have been rough. Feel free to let yourselves out” dropping off his bag he leaves.
First stop, the garden. While on his way over there he realizes he hasn’t lied like that to people since he moved up here away from his parents. Doing it now almost felt strange and he is more than a little unsetted as to how easily it came back to him. By showing them the actual suicide note, e removes all trace of suspician no matter what they find. Showing it to them instead of letting them stumble over it is one of those moves he learned as a result of living with two people who it is just plain easyer to lie to constantly. Now they don’t think the hippy girl is crazy just misinformed, and the front desk girl liked the note. That’s good to know, he’s never actually shown it to anyone since he started writing them. It is one of those constantly evolving piesces that has to be constantly revised as a result of an ever changing tumultuous life. Also for a housing employee she is depressingly on the ball which is quite suprising. University policy seems to be to hire the most brain dead imbiciles possible for all housing positions and then they sit around and wonder where the drug and alchohol problems come from. “Christ” Link suddenly realizes, “Anyone could easily have any number of weapons in their dorm room”. It isn’t like they check the boxes as they are moving in, and he’s seen all sorts of people bringing in stuff throughout the year presumably sent to them by parents. There is an unsettling though. And she isn’t at the garden.
As he runs back through the woods his mind wanders back to his lying. Its funny in a way. See due to certain lifestyle choices he makes for the most part, lying is an unessisary concept. It is easy to not lie to anyone when you believe that your time with them is going to be limited at best. Parents though. Man they were something different altogether. Both absent and ever present they represented the same sort of prescene that the all seeing eye of Suron did in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. There is something strange in the lie he just told. His parents were the only two people on earth that he was afraid to deal with on a day to day basis, so much so that he made sure to take care of affairs weeks in advance when it came to them so he wouldn’t have deal with them. He took more care in dealing with them than he did with any other people because they could make his life so unbearable day by day that it just wasn’t worth it otherwise. Now spining lies to housing, he realizes that there is something, deep down inside of him that’s changed. He belivies that tomarrow is going to come, that the sun will rise and the gun won’t go off. There is hope, and the lie is the proof, of all things.
How the hell is he going to explain all this to the hippy girl? He doesn’t want to lie to her. So he won’t he will tell her everything, and he will make her understand just how things are changing. All he has to do is to find her and everything will be just find. As he crashes out of the tree line, he darts over to where the hippy sometimes likes to go and ends up crashing headlong into the cowboy.

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