I am just to fried to do coherent creative sentences at the momet. So I am going to do an outline of something.
Genre: Modern Day Pulp
Antagonists: Nazis, Scientologists, Reploids in that order.
Protagonists:
-A dashing english professor who ends up making ties to an international Reploid conspiracy.
-An extrodinarly Jaded grad student
-A nun
- A Crusading reporter
-Ex CIA Goat Starer
Intro- This is pulp damnit! Start with a bang. Introduce the main charecter and the grad student as they are running away from Nazis. They will both be armed, make a moderatly sized humerouse deal about that. Have the situation resolved, set up a Midboss, between the protagonist and one of the nazis and they make a nice harrowing escape to the...
-Crusading reporter's house. This guy is half for real reporter, half consipracy nut, part survivalist. They go to him for both help and answers and they get some.
-Nazi's having retreated to South America have secretly built a power base there. They own several companies and own controlling shares in several major international corportations. They are so deep under ground that just about no one knows of their excistence. They were the major funding behind Pablo Escobar and they do their utmost to keep whole regions destabalized to mask their actions. As late it seems they have been running into som opposition.
-Reporter hides them at a church not to far off for the time being. Enter nun. Since there needs to be moar action they are simply not hidden well enough and they are attacked yet again from within the church. That gets burned to the ground (like they do) but the two heros+nun escape. Oh at some point she stops and prays during a fire fight. I want that to happen earlyer than later.
-They hook back up with the reporter who is on the run for diffrent reasons and the lot of them fuck off to south america because it is exotic and there are nazis there. I <3 nazies.
- This isn't my nano book.
- Once in South America they try hinding out in a village that the nun knows of. There they find out that there is a shadow war being waged by Nazis (who have ALL SORTS of cool shit) and another unknown force. The nazis are now currently trying to dig up all sorts of weird shit again to help out. Azetc stuff.
-K I don't know shit about the Aztecs but I do know they have a bunch of snake god things so that will make sense once the reploids are revealed. That will happen latter. Right now the main players decide to get proactive on some nazi ass. Woo!
-Nun tags along. The group of them hook up with some gurilla freedom fighters and they do their best to lay down a can of wompass on them Nazi scum! Do they suceed? Sorta. I think they are going to make off with at least one Mcguffin though.
-As a result things shift back to America where they try to figgure out where the other soldiers are coming from (Scientology). They get it. Have the nazi's have all sorts of batshit occult/gothic science sort of things, whereas the Scientologists will have weird bio-organic hybrids and ray guns.
-Oh the shadow was is gonna become a public was and I am bringing this shit up to 11 on the epic level don't worry. But that is enough for now.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
[Undiscovered Super powers] The jhill
It was a nice town. It was a nice town in the way that everyone under the age of 21 hate to live there because there is nothing to do. They all look forward to leaving and some of them actually make it. Most of them end up settling down into management positions at whatever store they were working at during high school. The rest of the world isn’t for everyone. A little further up the hill from Ben a car began rocking steadily on its shocks. The sun was setting, the fire flies were out love apparently was in the air and it became one of those long low slow spring evenings that made him truly grateful to have lived this long. It is a nice town. He aimed to keep it that way, and that meant dealing with the big black oil slick of a military base that percisted out on the fringes. That is for a different day though, this is one of the few spots where you can sit and not see any hint of it. He could see his house, her house, and his house. There they all were, he saw their places of work, the high school that absorbed their free time in exchange for knowledge. He saw where the teachers he liked lived, where the kids can buy alchol without being carded, where they buy ecstasy, and where some especially sad ones liked to go to huff glue. He knew the whole town inside and out. Of course it wasn’t a very big town and it didn’t take that long. Smiling he closed his book which had long ago fallen by the wayside. The fading light didn’t leave enough for reading anyhow and soon it would be time to head home for dinner, a shower, homework, and a routine. Two years and he still couldn’t wrap his head around it, and now he didn’t have to. He let out a sigh, “We need to work on your stealth skills” Ben turned around to see Ashley floating an inch above the ground.
“How!”
“You still rustle the grass as you pass by over it, and you breathe pretty heavily when you levitate like that”, daintily she stepped down onto the ground, “Fuck, don’t you ever let your guard down?”
Chucking a bit Ben smiled, “If it isn’t down here it won’t be down anywhere. Sorry kiddo. So what brings you up here?”
She just sort of shrugged her shoulders and sat down uncomfortably close to him, “I dunno I heard you come up here and I was just wondering why? I mean you seem to know so much about all of us, and the stuff we can do, and no one knows anything about you at all”
Ben nodded, “You were there when Jessica freaked out weren’t you? That is because of what she saw, images and feelings from before. Do you really want to know?”
She hesitated a bit, the insident still fresh in her mind. She had never heard anyone scream like that, not even in the movies. It felt like it when down inside your marrow and sat there, a palpable force of misery that had to be expelled from her lungs lest it destroy her, even through it would just rot everyone around her. Things like that don’t happen every day. Not in this town at least, not anywhere, yet there it was. This terrible event, and it is all because of the strange slightly gangly kid sitting next to her, “I do want to know.”
“Really why? I mean I certainly didn’t want to go through most of it. It nearly drove Empath nuts, so why do you want to know so badly? Do you really think you could handle it? You who has never lost nothing more significant than a gold fish, you who has never broken so much as a bone, with your undivorced loving parents, and your high school popularity, do you really want to know what goes on inside of me?”
“Hey! Don’t talk down to me, I have problems you don’t know me or the shit I have to”.
Ben put his hand on her shoulder cutting her off with a smile, “You don’t get it. There is nothing wrong with your life. It is amazing, and you really should thank god every single day for what you have. I’m sorry it came out the wrong way. Your innocence is something to be treasured, it is worth protecting. It is the reason why you stayed back and I went on ahead”
She nodded and sat silent for a moment, “Do you think if we came with you, it would of gone better?”
Ben snorted, “You kidding me? Without a doubt. That warehouse should have been a Cakewalk with you me and Tank. He goes in first, draws fire and depleates their ammo supplies, while you provide targets and air support and do whatever it is I do. Man we could of ripped through there without a problem”
“So why…”
“No don’t go on and on about it.” She looked at him, lost, confused, “Look down on your hands. Were you ready to kill someone that day?”
“But you were hurt, almost killed, I don’t understand why wouldn’t want us to help”
Ben looked out over the town. Dusk is quickly becoming night, and as the car honked as it drove by, the passengers giggling like children who had just done something naughty. Ben looked after them perplexed, “Man that was barely 15 minuts, I don’t see how you kids get anything done in that time”.
She looked around confused, “What the hell are you talking about”
Ben pointed off at the retreating car, “They were most certainly fucking over there. They started just before you showed up. I don’t get it though, I mean you guys have all the time in the world and yet you all seem to rush through sex like it is some sort of 50 yard dash. You still a virgin?”
Her faced reddened, as she flapped her hands about her like fish who have recently rained down from the sky, wondering what they were doing there and why everything burned. She spluttered on like that for a bit before Ben cut her off again, “Sorry I keep forgetting that sex is something people don’t talk about in America. It prolly explains why that guy is strutting around like some sort of champion after his 15 minute mad dash to orgasm”
Ashley incredulously looked over at Ben who absentmindly chewing on a piece of straw, “You talk like you are some sort of Cassanova.”
He cocked his head to one side and thought for a bit, “You know I don’t know who that is, contextually he sounds like some sort of great lover”
She laughed, “Ben you have some of the strangest holes in your knowledge. They made a movie about him not to long ago, it was pretty good, you should check it out”
Ben nodded, and smiled softly, “See it’s moments like this”
“Huh”
“To answer your question. It is moment’s like this. This is why I didn’t want help. Once you pull that trigger it is something you can’t undo. It is something I was raised to do, nearly from birth. It has no more relevance to me as does any other perfectly other mundane thing. You aren’t ready yet, none of you are ready, and if I have my way none of you will ever be ready. It is something you should never ever have to do. I blew up that military base to keep it from happening. Honestly I don’t see why all of you are so willing to help out. Tom seems to be the only one with any sense, and that is only because I kicked him so hard he got some knocked down into him”
“Yeah what is up with that guy, even at school he was always such an asshole to you until one day you just went militant on him. What’s is it between you two?”
Ben thought for a moment, “I mess with his entire world. He is the quarterback of a football team that regularly goes to state, everyone loves him including yourself at one point, high school is the place where he is on the top of the food chain. I reminded him that there is a wider world out there, and that being the best at high school is a bit like being the fastest retard”
“Still he always had it out for you, ever since you showed up”
Ben shrugged again, “It’s simple really, I’m small, he’s big and he had a pecking order to establish and I showed him that I wasn’t even a part of his food chain. Then kicking his ass after he developed super strength, well that was just hilarious” he looked over at her and found to his surprise, her face had become the perfect image of fury.
“He could of killed you that day. He would of killed you had you not stopped him, doesn’t that make you mad. YOU would of died” She emphasized her point by jabbing at his chest with her finger. There are no excuses for that.
Ben nodded then pointed out twords the town, “There. Right there see that house on the poorer side of town?”
“Yeah?”
“He lives there. No one knows this except maybe his closest friends. He dresses in all those swank cloths, drives that big fancy truck, but he lives on the poor side of town. Also? As cliché as this sounds his dad beats the living shit out him most nights. He is an awefuly aggressive alcholic. I’ve actually had a run in with him once. Not that he would remember mind you, as drunk as he was. The point is that things aren’t easy for him, and try as he might to be the poster child for extra normalcy he just simply isn’t. In a way I sympathise with him”
“No fuck him, he’s an animal. I don’t see how you can care about that asshole”
With a sweeping arc Ben spread his arm over the town below, “It’s simple really, all of you matter to me. That’s why I’m here. Don’t look so surprised, here give me a lift down the hill, you need the practice”
She smilled as she grabbed his arm and then took off.
“How!”
“You still rustle the grass as you pass by over it, and you breathe pretty heavily when you levitate like that”, daintily she stepped down onto the ground, “Fuck, don’t you ever let your guard down?”
Chucking a bit Ben smiled, “If it isn’t down here it won’t be down anywhere. Sorry kiddo. So what brings you up here?”
She just sort of shrugged her shoulders and sat down uncomfortably close to him, “I dunno I heard you come up here and I was just wondering why? I mean you seem to know so much about all of us, and the stuff we can do, and no one knows anything about you at all”
Ben nodded, “You were there when Jessica freaked out weren’t you? That is because of what she saw, images and feelings from before. Do you really want to know?”
She hesitated a bit, the insident still fresh in her mind. She had never heard anyone scream like that, not even in the movies. It felt like it when down inside your marrow and sat there, a palpable force of misery that had to be expelled from her lungs lest it destroy her, even through it would just rot everyone around her. Things like that don’t happen every day. Not in this town at least, not anywhere, yet there it was. This terrible event, and it is all because of the strange slightly gangly kid sitting next to her, “I do want to know.”
“Really why? I mean I certainly didn’t want to go through most of it. It nearly drove Empath nuts, so why do you want to know so badly? Do you really think you could handle it? You who has never lost nothing more significant than a gold fish, you who has never broken so much as a bone, with your undivorced loving parents, and your high school popularity, do you really want to know what goes on inside of me?”
“Hey! Don’t talk down to me, I have problems you don’t know me or the shit I have to”.
Ben put his hand on her shoulder cutting her off with a smile, “You don’t get it. There is nothing wrong with your life. It is amazing, and you really should thank god every single day for what you have. I’m sorry it came out the wrong way. Your innocence is something to be treasured, it is worth protecting. It is the reason why you stayed back and I went on ahead”
She nodded and sat silent for a moment, “Do you think if we came with you, it would of gone better?”
Ben snorted, “You kidding me? Without a doubt. That warehouse should have been a Cakewalk with you me and Tank. He goes in first, draws fire and depleates their ammo supplies, while you provide targets and air support and do whatever it is I do. Man we could of ripped through there without a problem”
“So why…”
“No don’t go on and on about it.” She looked at him, lost, confused, “Look down on your hands. Were you ready to kill someone that day?”
“But you were hurt, almost killed, I don’t understand why wouldn’t want us to help”
Ben looked out over the town. Dusk is quickly becoming night, and as the car honked as it drove by, the passengers giggling like children who had just done something naughty. Ben looked after them perplexed, “Man that was barely 15 minuts, I don’t see how you kids get anything done in that time”.
She looked around confused, “What the hell are you talking about”
Ben pointed off at the retreating car, “They were most certainly fucking over there. They started just before you showed up. I don’t get it though, I mean you guys have all the time in the world and yet you all seem to rush through sex like it is some sort of 50 yard dash. You still a virgin?”
Her faced reddened, as she flapped her hands about her like fish who have recently rained down from the sky, wondering what they were doing there and why everything burned. She spluttered on like that for a bit before Ben cut her off again, “Sorry I keep forgetting that sex is something people don’t talk about in America. It prolly explains why that guy is strutting around like some sort of champion after his 15 minute mad dash to orgasm”
Ashley incredulously looked over at Ben who absentmindly chewing on a piece of straw, “You talk like you are some sort of Cassanova.”
He cocked his head to one side and thought for a bit, “You know I don’t know who that is, contextually he sounds like some sort of great lover”
She laughed, “Ben you have some of the strangest holes in your knowledge. They made a movie about him not to long ago, it was pretty good, you should check it out”
Ben nodded, and smiled softly, “See it’s moments like this”
“Huh”
“To answer your question. It is moment’s like this. This is why I didn’t want help. Once you pull that trigger it is something you can’t undo. It is something I was raised to do, nearly from birth. It has no more relevance to me as does any other perfectly other mundane thing. You aren’t ready yet, none of you are ready, and if I have my way none of you will ever be ready. It is something you should never ever have to do. I blew up that military base to keep it from happening. Honestly I don’t see why all of you are so willing to help out. Tom seems to be the only one with any sense, and that is only because I kicked him so hard he got some knocked down into him”
“Yeah what is up with that guy, even at school he was always such an asshole to you until one day you just went militant on him. What’s is it between you two?”
Ben thought for a moment, “I mess with his entire world. He is the quarterback of a football team that regularly goes to state, everyone loves him including yourself at one point, high school is the place where he is on the top of the food chain. I reminded him that there is a wider world out there, and that being the best at high school is a bit like being the fastest retard”
“Still he always had it out for you, ever since you showed up”
Ben shrugged again, “It’s simple really, I’m small, he’s big and he had a pecking order to establish and I showed him that I wasn’t even a part of his food chain. Then kicking his ass after he developed super strength, well that was just hilarious” he looked over at her and found to his surprise, her face had become the perfect image of fury.
“He could of killed you that day. He would of killed you had you not stopped him, doesn’t that make you mad. YOU would of died” She emphasized her point by jabbing at his chest with her finger. There are no excuses for that.
Ben nodded then pointed out twords the town, “There. Right there see that house on the poorer side of town?”
“Yeah?”
“He lives there. No one knows this except maybe his closest friends. He dresses in all those swank cloths, drives that big fancy truck, but he lives on the poor side of town. Also? As cliché as this sounds his dad beats the living shit out him most nights. He is an awefuly aggressive alcholic. I’ve actually had a run in with him once. Not that he would remember mind you, as drunk as he was. The point is that things aren’t easy for him, and try as he might to be the poster child for extra normalcy he just simply isn’t. In a way I sympathise with him”
“No fuck him, he’s an animal. I don’t see how you can care about that asshole”
With a sweeping arc Ben spread his arm over the town below, “It’s simple really, all of you matter to me. That’s why I’m here. Don’t look so surprised, here give me a lift down the hill, you need the practice”
She smilled as she grabbed his arm and then took off.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
No one forgets their name [test scene]
Test Scene:
Crossing the threshold of the retirement home I smell, urine, the failure of a lemon sented floor cleaner to clean up said urine, and dying. Dying has its own unique oder that, much like wine cultivated with age. Killing someone all at once and the oder is lost,vanished in a puff of obselesence, dreams, and potential. Taking your time to die, however, and man you put something out into the world that can never be replicated, covered up, or morst importantly, removed. Dying is one of those things that everyone does, but there is a certain level of quality that I, at the very least, aspire to. After this I am definatly going to sighn up for some more dangerouse asighnments.
Clustered around an aging TV residents sat, some were knitting, some were watching, and some were just gone, jaws slack drool dripping thinly down thier chins, eyes unfocused. Thier lives are perpetuated by an idea that life is, is, it is something that I certainly don't understand. I try to imagine my target. They said his mind might be going and not being sure as to what that means I try to perpare myself. A woman shuffles past me, oder overwhelming, monaing over and over, "I want to get up. Please let me up". She doesn't get far before a flurry of nurses decsend upon her and wisk her away to whatever fait awaits people who end up like her. Quietly I pray that its death. MOving on past the TV I head over to the reception desk. There is no life here. My god, a woman over there just wet herself and no one seems to be doing anything about it. Pulling myself together I adopt a pair of blinders to the world around me and head over to the reception desk.
Crossing the threshold of the retirement home I smell, urine, the failure of a lemon sented floor cleaner to clean up said urine, and dying. Dying has its own unique oder that, much like wine cultivated with age. Killing someone all at once and the oder is lost,vanished in a puff of obselesence, dreams, and potential. Taking your time to die, however, and man you put something out into the world that can never be replicated, covered up, or morst importantly, removed. Dying is one of those things that everyone does, but there is a certain level of quality that I, at the very least, aspire to. After this I am definatly going to sighn up for some more dangerouse asighnments.
Clustered around an aging TV residents sat, some were knitting, some were watching, and some were just gone, jaws slack drool dripping thinly down thier chins, eyes unfocused. Thier lives are perpetuated by an idea that life is, is, it is something that I certainly don't understand. I try to imagine my target. They said his mind might be going and not being sure as to what that means I try to perpare myself. A woman shuffles past me, oder overwhelming, monaing over and over, "I want to get up. Please let me up". She doesn't get far before a flurry of nurses decsend upon her and wisk her away to whatever fait awaits people who end up like her. Quietly I pray that its death. MOving on past the TV I head over to the reception desk. There is no life here. My god, a woman over there just wet herself and no one seems to be doing anything about it. Pulling myself together I adopt a pair of blinders to the world around me and head over to the reception desk.
No one forgets their name [incompleate draft]
No one forgets thier name. No matter how long you work in the buisness, no matter what you do or who you do it to there is always something deep down inside of yourself that always knows who you are. The trick is to not let things get that deep. That's the way to survive with all your humanity intact. People claim they forget their name so they can hide themselves. Deep inside where none of the things we have to do can hurt us. Forgetting yourself doesn't work though, quite the oppostite because meory is a gunny thing and it can come out of no where at the strangest moments and take you away.
Take now for example. Here I am, in a shitty car, pulled off on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere, swearing gently because the light on the little mirror on the sun visor is burnt out. Its midmorning, which is a small blessing in of iteself, but that little light really helps for all the fine detail work you have to do.
I spent one year learning how to enter nearly any structure undetected, kill anyone I need to, and leave without ever getting caught. The next three years were spent on makup. That may be a slight exhageration. In the school they call it identity detection countermeasures, which is a really cute way of saying makeup school. I know more about what I do with makeup than most professionals and I often findmyself watching tv critiquing the jobs they do. Sherman once spent two months undercover on a movie set. Fit right in with the makeup crew. When he retired he went back to work with them.
Makeup is a blessed thing. A li9ttle poweder here, some lines there and all the sudden you are ten years younger, or older as the case may be. With some grace and sublety you can turn into someone compleatly diffrent, someone who would never be picked out of a line up, you can become as uninteresting or interesting as you need to be, add or loose weight, hell you can switch genders, just so long as no one grabs your dick in the proicess.
At the end of the day, it becomes so important because it allows you to be someone else. Someone who didn't do those things. So when I stand in my bathroom looking into the mirror I can smile to myself and think, "I didn't do those things today, oh no, that was someone else, someone who is a bastard". Today I am Richard Nelson, and man is this guy a cunt. After getting into an argument with my father some 30 years ago, I storm out of the house and never talk to him again. I don't even know that my father fell and broke his hip almost 3 years ago and had to be moved into a home. I don't know that he lay there for a whole day without food or water before a cable repair man came and found him, and I didn't know that an orderly used to abuse him. I didn't know any of these things. Despite all these things I am going to show up after not talking to him for 30 years, because of something that happened 30 years ago, and I am going to kill him. Yeah today I am Richard Nelson. Today I become a real class act.
Now this, this is a bum detail. The worst it gets. Still I look the closest to his son today, not that it matters. Hair piece in place I put the briefcase back onto the floor and readjust the revear mirror, just incase something decides to rear out of the pergatory that is rural texas and attempts to make itself interesting. I place the briefcase back onto the floor adjust my glasses and, cross on over to the point of no return.
Its 11:30 when I pull up to the rest home. The girl at the desk looks like she hasn't been sitting there for 10 minuts yet and she is already board out of her mind. Not even mustering up a half interest she looks up from a magazine flashing a smile that screams, "I smile because it is manditory and I hate you for being here" and asks, "How may I help you?"
I smile back, biting back my instinctual loathing towards her, my disgust at the task at hand, and the general urge to leave. I gather it all in my mouth and just like all thouse time where we throw up just a little I swallow it, and with charm amped up to the max I tell her that I am here to visit my father Tobias Nelson, while fantasyizing about snapping her neck.
"Oh you know Tobias?"
I didn't expect this. I wanted to be done and out of this place, far away on a beach with my own face on because I didn't want to do this, "Yes m'mam I am his son, I heard he wasn't well and I thought that it is hight time that the two of us make amends". It is wonderful how lies can bring fairytales to life. Tobias, a sweet garolouse old man who avoided the creepy stigma so often attached to the elderly had won this apathetic waif's young pathetic heart. Beautiful. While she chatters away about how excited he will be to see me, I run a risk assesment in my head, looking for any reason possible to pull out, leave now, run. It comes up negative.
A nurse who I know for a fact is also nice to Tobias comes up with promises to lead me to him, along with a series of pheremonal signals that indicates that she would be willing to suck my dick in a supply closet should I chat her up in just the right way. One of those things that will just never happen sadly. Through a complex series of hallways we are spat out onto a sunlit patio wreathed by trees and song birds. Much nicer than the borchure made it out to be. I knew where I was being lead, there he sat, in a wheelchair book in lap, looking up at the birds singing. The nurse introduces us and in a raspy voice so unlike the ones from his youth he snaps, "that is not my son. I don't know who you are"
Gravity can somtimes take hold emotions. All the joy that nurse just felt about my visit just got crumpled into a ball and flung to the bottom of the mariannas trench where it became smaller than a pea and eaten by something humans have never laid eyes on before. To give comfort I put my hand on her lower back an lead her away for a bit, I could feel her heat against my hand, and wasn't moved, "Look miss it has been a long time, do you think we can have a little privacy?"
She smiled hestiently, "Just pull on that emerency chord if you need anyone"
I give her a smile wrapped in sheep's skin, "does he have a favorite place he likes to go?"
"Y-yes there is a path he likes to be pushed around on, it starts over there and goes all throughout the woods. It starts over there as a matter of fact."
"Alright thankyou, you go on and get back to work, I have a lot of ground to cover."
I grab the back of his chair as I walk back over to him and start pushing him twords the path, "Come on Dad letas see what this path you are so fond of is all about"
We walk through the woods in scielence for a bit. After about 10 minuts he looks back up at me, eyes squinting, "I've seen you before haven't I?"
"Yes I am your son, surely you remeber"
"CUt the bullshit kid, if you think some makeup and false smile is going to fool me then you should of waited until I had a few more marbles loose upstairs before trying that line on me"
Fuck. Well so far for that theory. After years of working in the buisness I should know by now that intelegence is always wrong, even when it comes to a broken down old man at the end of hius days, well specficly today actually, "Sorry Tobias we thought it would be easyer for you"
"Well good to see that after a lifetime of paying taxes the goverment has my best interests at heart"
"Don't give me that you haven't payed taxes in over 30 years"
"fine then that nurses tax dollars, she likes you, you know, and you better not lay one more finger on her"
"I know and I won't. I don't like this any more than you do. But you broke the promise and you know what that means"
He hung his head a little, "Yes yes the promise, I know. The god damned promise. So how are you going to do it"
This is new. New and compleatly intolerable. Nobody knows I am coming, I am never recognized for what I am, and they never know what my prescense represents. I bump into them, then I slip away and no one is the wiser as to what possibly could of happened until it is far to late. Most of them die in thier sleep, which is what I should of done. Fuck. Damnit. The secutiry here is laughable I could of just been in and out no contact no stress, why am I here?
"Why are you here anyway? I expected to die quietly in my sleep. What sort of crap operation are you running now?"
"You know Tobias, if you want the honest answer?"
"I do. After a lifetime of lies it is least I deserve"
"Well that's why I am here now. It is the least you deserve, to be able to look me in the eye and spit in it if you want to" Is that the truth? Why did I say that, why would I say that? I am not, whatever his assholes son's name is right now, I am loosing control of this situation, and this, this just isn't good.
"Hey turn off here, there is a path through the woods that I used to like to go on"
I hardly heard him, as I veered off into the woods. Path? This isn't a path, it is a root strewn game trail. I've always hated the outdoors, prefering urban jobs over anything else, concrete, streets, the smells, here there are just bugs birds, me, and Tobias. I carefully work the chair over the roots, between trees, and around bushes. Soon my suit jacket is off, and my shirt, drenched in sweat, and then out of no where, we are in a medow, a little oasis in the middle of nowhere. Towards the left side lay the foundations of a house, put down by some frounteers man now long forgotten.
I could hear the smile on Tobia's face, "glad to see you made it, not much of a woodsman are you? Come on wheel me on over to what was once that house over there. Good, would you like an apple? I brought enough for the both of us?"
I take it without a word and eat in scilence. He looks around smileing happily, the birds seem to sing only for him, deliberatly ignoring my prescense, sencing my guilt in what is about to happen, "I used to love to come out here and listen to the birds" THen noticing the way I am sort of half squatting, half sitting, like a man who is just above a mixture of dead plants, animals, and living animals who eat the dead animals, along with a layer of green plants that cover up an ocean of disease like an army of snakes encicing me twords oblivion, "Not much of an outdoors man are you we've been out here for the better part of an hour now and you are still doing the rediculouse half squat thing, now just sit down"
I did and let moisture seep through the seat of my pants, and yet I wasn't uncomfortable. We went on in scilence some more. After awhile he held up another apple inquisitvily which I declined with a wave of my hand, he shrugged, "more for Lucy I suppose, that is if she hasn't forgotten about me"
Leaning fowards I was about to ask but he cut me off with a charp wave of his hand, and then she sat stock still. A minute went by before I saw her, a magnificent female deer regarding us from the other side of the medow. It stood there regarding us carefully, not recognizing me at all, and unsure about Tobias. Carefully he took one step twords us, then another. It took her nearly 10 minuts for her to cross the medow, every muscle tense, ready to bolt. The last 5 feet took the longest. The deer's body, so close to my face that I could reach out an touch her, nostrles full of her alien sweat, I'd never been this close to a wild animal before and should it decide to spook it could very well crush me during its escape. A set up? Did Tobias set me up? Lure me out here, stalling the inevitable just to make one last desperate bid for life? He could, knew who I am, and he sees me, death for anyone in the buisness, now all that needs to happen is that the hammer needs to fall. There he is, feeding that deer slices of apple from his hands, and any moment they will both turn on me and it will be over. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I am going to die here in this stupid field, in the dirt surrounded by bugs, and shit, with birds singiung, and the deer had finnished eating. Affectionaly Tobias reached out and stroked the side of her face, then she nuzzled his hands licking the juice from his fingers, After a minut she left as she came, without a sound. Here is sit, still alive.
Tobias loojked over at me, "Thankyou for this by the way. I could see how much that deer scared the shit out of you. I was going to warn you but she showed up before I could. Here I thought I would never see her again"
"Yes"
"Excuse me? I may be old and just a little death but I haven't even asked a question in the past hour, so what the hell are you talking about?"
"When you asked if you had seen me before. I was your cable repair man ten years ago"
He sat back in his chair and smiled, "I thought so. Its your eyes that give you away you know. Look, I was wondering, would it be okay if I get to see one last sunset before you do what it is you came here to do?"
"Sure Tobias, no problem."
He nodded with satisfaction and resumed reading his book, he wasn't more than halfway though it and I didn't have the heart to ask him what he was reading. An hour passed like that, then two, and then I couldn't take it anymore, "Tobias, why did you tell?"
As he looked up, he snapped the book shut, it personified punctionation. He thought for a moment, and almost seemd to drift away before answering, "Look government boy, should you get to my age you'll understand. I have no friends, no familiy, I live in a shit hole retirement home where assholes tell me what to do all day, what I can eat, and how I should dress, all because I broke this stupid hip. Half the people here are dead already, they are just going through the motions until this body catches up with them. I can hardly get a good conversation here to save my life. Then some asshole ordely puts me in this chair and keeps me there, I am tired, and despite being in fantastic health, I want to go.
"So,"
"Yeah I blabbed a bit knowing that you would come, do me quiet, most likely in my sleep, and be done with it. It won't hurt will it?"
"No it will be just like going to sleep"
"Oh you've taken your poison before?"
"Yes actually just below a leathal dose. Its imporant to know what your chemiucals do to a person so you can stradigize appropriatly"
Tobias snorted a bit, "Rediculouse"
"It also helps build tolerances"
"Bullshit"
I'm at a loss, "Okay so what is it?"
Tobias smiled, looking off into the distance with almost a wistful look on his face he didn't answer for awhile. He seemed to be thinking about something else entirely. Then his eyes cleared returing his razor shap wit, "Well if I had to guess, I would have to say that it would have to do with the fact that you are obsessed with death."
Frowing I looked around the medow, "That's a little harsh don't you think?"
"Surely you can't be seriouse. You are here to kill me, you my assasin, I have absolutely no reason what so ever to mince words with you"
Tobias frowned, he wanted to say, "I may be an assasin but I am still a human being. Underneath all this makup, training, and lies I want to be loved, respected, and talked to just like everyone else. That taking a life has never gotten easy, and that the only reason I am here is because I am the closest thing you have to a real friend at the moment" but I said none of those things. This isn't right. Somewhere deep down a trick had been played on me somewhere along the line. A trick that leads me fact to face with this broken down old man, who is still so full of life and wit. Why should he go when so many others are forced to spiral down gracelessly into a sea of helplessness and uncontrolled bowel functions. Why should he get to avoid this fate, and why am I so angry at him? After a moment I just decided to change the conversation, "So after that orderly disapreared, things got better right?"
Tobias waved his hand dismissivly, "Eh the nurses are still lazy, the food is cold and tasteless, I am surrounded by idiots, this isn't how I wanted my life to go, and it is certainly not how I want my life to end. Which is why I called you in after all."
"What would you have done if my organization wasn't around?"
"Oh I don't know. To be honest I wasn't even sure if you were still watching. I mean after all of these years waiting for you guys to tire of me and to just let the hammer fall I began to think that you had given up watching me. So if you hadn't shown up in a couple of days i would of gone out with a bunch of sleeping pills and moonshine. A good death, and I am old enought that I won't have to deal with the usual problems involved in such endevours." Tobias shrugged before adding, "I don't know if I cou8ld do it myself though. I figgured with all the shit you people put me through you owed this to me at the very least.
Take now for example. Here I am, in a shitty car, pulled off on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere, swearing gently because the light on the little mirror on the sun visor is burnt out. Its midmorning, which is a small blessing in of iteself, but that little light really helps for all the fine detail work you have to do.
I spent one year learning how to enter nearly any structure undetected, kill anyone I need to, and leave without ever getting caught. The next three years were spent on makup. That may be a slight exhageration. In the school they call it identity detection countermeasures, which is a really cute way of saying makeup school. I know more about what I do with makeup than most professionals and I often findmyself watching tv critiquing the jobs they do. Sherman once spent two months undercover on a movie set. Fit right in with the makeup crew. When he retired he went back to work with them.
Makeup is a blessed thing. A li9ttle poweder here, some lines there and all the sudden you are ten years younger, or older as the case may be. With some grace and sublety you can turn into someone compleatly diffrent, someone who would never be picked out of a line up, you can become as uninteresting or interesting as you need to be, add or loose weight, hell you can switch genders, just so long as no one grabs your dick in the proicess.
At the end of the day, it becomes so important because it allows you to be someone else. Someone who didn't do those things. So when I stand in my bathroom looking into the mirror I can smile to myself and think, "I didn't do those things today, oh no, that was someone else, someone who is a bastard". Today I am Richard Nelson, and man is this guy a cunt. After getting into an argument with my father some 30 years ago, I storm out of the house and never talk to him again. I don't even know that my father fell and broke his hip almost 3 years ago and had to be moved into a home. I don't know that he lay there for a whole day without food or water before a cable repair man came and found him, and I didn't know that an orderly used to abuse him. I didn't know any of these things. Despite all these things I am going to show up after not talking to him for 30 years, because of something that happened 30 years ago, and I am going to kill him. Yeah today I am Richard Nelson. Today I become a real class act.
Now this, this is a bum detail. The worst it gets. Still I look the closest to his son today, not that it matters. Hair piece in place I put the briefcase back onto the floor and readjust the revear mirror, just incase something decides to rear out of the pergatory that is rural texas and attempts to make itself interesting. I place the briefcase back onto the floor adjust my glasses and, cross on over to the point of no return.
Its 11:30 when I pull up to the rest home. The girl at the desk looks like she hasn't been sitting there for 10 minuts yet and she is already board out of her mind. Not even mustering up a half interest she looks up from a magazine flashing a smile that screams, "I smile because it is manditory and I hate you for being here" and asks, "How may I help you?"
I smile back, biting back my instinctual loathing towards her, my disgust at the task at hand, and the general urge to leave. I gather it all in my mouth and just like all thouse time where we throw up just a little I swallow it, and with charm amped up to the max I tell her that I am here to visit my father Tobias Nelson, while fantasyizing about snapping her neck.
"Oh you know Tobias?"
I didn't expect this. I wanted to be done and out of this place, far away on a beach with my own face on because I didn't want to do this, "Yes m'mam I am his son, I heard he wasn't well and I thought that it is hight time that the two of us make amends". It is wonderful how lies can bring fairytales to life. Tobias, a sweet garolouse old man who avoided the creepy stigma so often attached to the elderly had won this apathetic waif's young pathetic heart. Beautiful. While she chatters away about how excited he will be to see me, I run a risk assesment in my head, looking for any reason possible to pull out, leave now, run. It comes up negative.
A nurse who I know for a fact is also nice to Tobias comes up with promises to lead me to him, along with a series of pheremonal signals that indicates that she would be willing to suck my dick in a supply closet should I chat her up in just the right way. One of those things that will just never happen sadly. Through a complex series of hallways we are spat out onto a sunlit patio wreathed by trees and song birds. Much nicer than the borchure made it out to be. I knew where I was being lead, there he sat, in a wheelchair book in lap, looking up at the birds singing. The nurse introduces us and in a raspy voice so unlike the ones from his youth he snaps, "that is not my son. I don't know who you are"
Gravity can somtimes take hold emotions. All the joy that nurse just felt about my visit just got crumpled into a ball and flung to the bottom of the mariannas trench where it became smaller than a pea and eaten by something humans have never laid eyes on before. To give comfort I put my hand on her lower back an lead her away for a bit, I could feel her heat against my hand, and wasn't moved, "Look miss it has been a long time, do you think we can have a little privacy?"
She smiled hestiently, "Just pull on that emerency chord if you need anyone"
I give her a smile wrapped in sheep's skin, "does he have a favorite place he likes to go?"
"Y-yes there is a path he likes to be pushed around on, it starts over there and goes all throughout the woods. It starts over there as a matter of fact."
"Alright thankyou, you go on and get back to work, I have a lot of ground to cover."
I grab the back of his chair as I walk back over to him and start pushing him twords the path, "Come on Dad letas see what this path you are so fond of is all about"
We walk through the woods in scielence for a bit. After about 10 minuts he looks back up at me, eyes squinting, "I've seen you before haven't I?"
"Yes I am your son, surely you remeber"
"CUt the bullshit kid, if you think some makeup and false smile is going to fool me then you should of waited until I had a few more marbles loose upstairs before trying that line on me"
Fuck. Well so far for that theory. After years of working in the buisness I should know by now that intelegence is always wrong, even when it comes to a broken down old man at the end of hius days, well specficly today actually, "Sorry Tobias we thought it would be easyer for you"
"Well good to see that after a lifetime of paying taxes the goverment has my best interests at heart"
"Don't give me that you haven't payed taxes in over 30 years"
"fine then that nurses tax dollars, she likes you, you know, and you better not lay one more finger on her"
"I know and I won't. I don't like this any more than you do. But you broke the promise and you know what that means"
He hung his head a little, "Yes yes the promise, I know. The god damned promise. So how are you going to do it"
This is new. New and compleatly intolerable. Nobody knows I am coming, I am never recognized for what I am, and they never know what my prescense represents. I bump into them, then I slip away and no one is the wiser as to what possibly could of happened until it is far to late. Most of them die in thier sleep, which is what I should of done. Fuck. Damnit. The secutiry here is laughable I could of just been in and out no contact no stress, why am I here?
"Why are you here anyway? I expected to die quietly in my sleep. What sort of crap operation are you running now?"
"You know Tobias, if you want the honest answer?"
"I do. After a lifetime of lies it is least I deserve"
"Well that's why I am here now. It is the least you deserve, to be able to look me in the eye and spit in it if you want to" Is that the truth? Why did I say that, why would I say that? I am not, whatever his assholes son's name is right now, I am loosing control of this situation, and this, this just isn't good.
"Hey turn off here, there is a path through the woods that I used to like to go on"
I hardly heard him, as I veered off into the woods. Path? This isn't a path, it is a root strewn game trail. I've always hated the outdoors, prefering urban jobs over anything else, concrete, streets, the smells, here there are just bugs birds, me, and Tobias. I carefully work the chair over the roots, between trees, and around bushes. Soon my suit jacket is off, and my shirt, drenched in sweat, and then out of no where, we are in a medow, a little oasis in the middle of nowhere. Towards the left side lay the foundations of a house, put down by some frounteers man now long forgotten.
I could hear the smile on Tobia's face, "glad to see you made it, not much of a woodsman are you? Come on wheel me on over to what was once that house over there. Good, would you like an apple? I brought enough for the both of us?"
I take it without a word and eat in scilence. He looks around smileing happily, the birds seem to sing only for him, deliberatly ignoring my prescense, sencing my guilt in what is about to happen, "I used to love to come out here and listen to the birds" THen noticing the way I am sort of half squatting, half sitting, like a man who is just above a mixture of dead plants, animals, and living animals who eat the dead animals, along with a layer of green plants that cover up an ocean of disease like an army of snakes encicing me twords oblivion, "Not much of an outdoors man are you we've been out here for the better part of an hour now and you are still doing the rediculouse half squat thing, now just sit down"
I did and let moisture seep through the seat of my pants, and yet I wasn't uncomfortable. We went on in scilence some more. After awhile he held up another apple inquisitvily which I declined with a wave of my hand, he shrugged, "more for Lucy I suppose, that is if she hasn't forgotten about me"
Leaning fowards I was about to ask but he cut me off with a charp wave of his hand, and then she sat stock still. A minute went by before I saw her, a magnificent female deer regarding us from the other side of the medow. It stood there regarding us carefully, not recognizing me at all, and unsure about Tobias. Carefully he took one step twords us, then another. It took her nearly 10 minuts for her to cross the medow, every muscle tense, ready to bolt. The last 5 feet took the longest. The deer's body, so close to my face that I could reach out an touch her, nostrles full of her alien sweat, I'd never been this close to a wild animal before and should it decide to spook it could very well crush me during its escape. A set up? Did Tobias set me up? Lure me out here, stalling the inevitable just to make one last desperate bid for life? He could, knew who I am, and he sees me, death for anyone in the buisness, now all that needs to happen is that the hammer needs to fall. There he is, feeding that deer slices of apple from his hands, and any moment they will both turn on me and it will be over. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I am going to die here in this stupid field, in the dirt surrounded by bugs, and shit, with birds singiung, and the deer had finnished eating. Affectionaly Tobias reached out and stroked the side of her face, then she nuzzled his hands licking the juice from his fingers, After a minut she left as she came, without a sound. Here is sit, still alive.
Tobias loojked over at me, "Thankyou for this by the way. I could see how much that deer scared the shit out of you. I was going to warn you but she showed up before I could. Here I thought I would never see her again"
"Yes"
"Excuse me? I may be old and just a little death but I haven't even asked a question in the past hour, so what the hell are you talking about?"
"When you asked if you had seen me before. I was your cable repair man ten years ago"
He sat back in his chair and smiled, "I thought so. Its your eyes that give you away you know. Look, I was wondering, would it be okay if I get to see one last sunset before you do what it is you came here to do?"
"Sure Tobias, no problem."
He nodded with satisfaction and resumed reading his book, he wasn't more than halfway though it and I didn't have the heart to ask him what he was reading. An hour passed like that, then two, and then I couldn't take it anymore, "Tobias, why did you tell?"
As he looked up, he snapped the book shut, it personified punctionation. He thought for a moment, and almost seemd to drift away before answering, "Look government boy, should you get to my age you'll understand. I have no friends, no familiy, I live in a shit hole retirement home where assholes tell me what to do all day, what I can eat, and how I should dress, all because I broke this stupid hip. Half the people here are dead already, they are just going through the motions until this body catches up with them. I can hardly get a good conversation here to save my life. Then some asshole ordely puts me in this chair and keeps me there, I am tired, and despite being in fantastic health, I want to go.
"So,"
"Yeah I blabbed a bit knowing that you would come, do me quiet, most likely in my sleep, and be done with it. It won't hurt will it?"
"No it will be just like going to sleep"
"Oh you've taken your poison before?"
"Yes actually just below a leathal dose. Its imporant to know what your chemiucals do to a person so you can stradigize appropriatly"
Tobias snorted a bit, "Rediculouse"
"It also helps build tolerances"
"Bullshit"
I'm at a loss, "Okay so what is it?"
Tobias smiled, looking off into the distance with almost a wistful look on his face he didn't answer for awhile. He seemed to be thinking about something else entirely. Then his eyes cleared returing his razor shap wit, "Well if I had to guess, I would have to say that it would have to do with the fact that you are obsessed with death."
Frowing I looked around the medow, "That's a little harsh don't you think?"
"Surely you can't be seriouse. You are here to kill me, you my assasin, I have absolutely no reason what so ever to mince words with you"
Tobias frowned, he wanted to say, "I may be an assasin but I am still a human being. Underneath all this makup, training, and lies I want to be loved, respected, and talked to just like everyone else. That taking a life has never gotten easy, and that the only reason I am here is because I am the closest thing you have to a real friend at the moment" but I said none of those things. This isn't right. Somewhere deep down a trick had been played on me somewhere along the line. A trick that leads me fact to face with this broken down old man, who is still so full of life and wit. Why should he go when so many others are forced to spiral down gracelessly into a sea of helplessness and uncontrolled bowel functions. Why should he get to avoid this fate, and why am I so angry at him? After a moment I just decided to change the conversation, "So after that orderly disapreared, things got better right?"
Tobias waved his hand dismissivly, "Eh the nurses are still lazy, the food is cold and tasteless, I am surrounded by idiots, this isn't how I wanted my life to go, and it is certainly not how I want my life to end. Which is why I called you in after all."
"What would you have done if my organization wasn't around?"
"Oh I don't know. To be honest I wasn't even sure if you were still watching. I mean after all of these years waiting for you guys to tire of me and to just let the hammer fall I began to think that you had given up watching me. So if you hadn't shown up in a couple of days i would of gone out with a bunch of sleeping pills and moonshine. A good death, and I am old enought that I won't have to deal with the usual problems involved in such endevours." Tobias shrugged before adding, "I don't know if I cou8ld do it myself though. I figgured with all the shit you people put me through you owed this to me at the very least.
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