Sunday, November 29, 2009

le novel final part WC 4087

The wolf looking man, standing there in the middle of the parking lot flanked by 4 of his blonde boys arms outstretched in welcome laughs heartily at their approche. It is a deep gutteral laugh that sounds more like someone moving phlegm around rather than an actual sort of intelegable sound. The three of them dismount smoothly as if they’d been ridding horses their entire lives. Link tries to get down but the horse snorts and steps uncertainly throwing off his balanace causing him to land on his back, “God damn mother fucking beast of an animal. Why is it I am the only fucking person who hasn’t ridden one of these god damned things before” As he gets up the horse goes over to him and tries to nuzzle him almost apologetically, but Link already jumpy turns, trips over his feet, and nearly falls to the ground again. The wolf looking man, laughing at the entire spectical waves his hand, and two of the blonde boys go to bring Sara to stand next to him. Once Link regains his composure the cowboy sends the horses away with some other strange cliché sound from somewhere in his mouth, a sound Link couldn’t hope to emulate and they trod off into the woods.
They two groups stare each other down, eventually Link takes center. He can feel it in the air. This is what he is born for. Not lounging around gardens reading books, not saving birds, but moments like these. The times just before the battles, the times when he feels most alive. He can smell it in the air, they are somewhere special. The stakes are high here, and though he has no idea what they may be it almost doesn’t matter, like it doesn’t matter what the Wolf looking guy’s name is or how come he has some many blonde lackies that all look alike. It doesn’t matter what is really in that bar or what the beef between the white lady and the gold lady is. It doesn’t matter what the thing in the woods is, what’s inside the white room, or Cowboy’s real name. What matters is that this is about to happen. There will be blood, some of his, some of theirs. Firsts will crack each other bruises will be earned, new scars will be made and someone will emerge the victor and then they will go away and lick their wounds preparing for the next conflict, no matter who it is from. This is where he belongs, not waxing poetic about the future, planning future jobs, or worrying about things that are impossible to control. Here is where business is taken care of, and as of right now, business is good, “Well Mr. ‘I’m a wolf looking mother fucker’ I assume you brought us out here for some reason?”
He laughs, “No not really. The air is nice, the night is young, and your woman is most beautiful so I figured why not a little kidnapping. If you didn’t come to her aid I could just peddle her out to my friends here and spit her back out into the world. That would get someone’s attension most certainly.”
Link raises an eyebrow, “expecting someone else then? I would hardly call Sara my woman. I’ve met cancerouse turmors more benign”
The wolf man laughs, “See I like that, very droll. You really are everything I’d hope you’d be”
“Come again”?
He spreads his arms out wide, “Sara speaks of you often. In fact she rarely shuts up about you. You wouldn’t belive some of the things she says about you shall I tell you?”
Panic flashes in Sara’s eyes and she lunges forwards against her captors, escaping with an ease of grace which only comes natural having fought with Link for years on end, “You mother fucker you don’t tell him a thing, I will kill you, you understand me? You don’t understand what the fuck it is that you are dealing with”. She makes a dive at him and the remaining two blonde boys grab her, it takes all four of them to fully restrain her, and that is only with great difficulty.
Link shakes his head, “Jesus wolf man I don’t know what is with you and those blonde boys. I took down 7 of them after sprinting over a mile and it’s taking four of them to keep little old Sara from ripping your head off. Really now cowboy over here is a more effective threat.”
The wolf man sighs, “Yes you are right, their blood has gone thin, it needs replenishing. It has been far to long since we have found someone as strong or as vibrant as the two of you. You will make perfect-what, what are you doing?”
Link stops following along all of Wolf’s words with his hand, “Oh good. I’m glad you noticed that, look see I really don’t care about your master plan that probably involves incapacitating me and forcing me to have sex with whatever the fuck spawns these assholes. Really? It isn’t important.”
“Don’t you want to know about what she’s been saying about you?”
“Christ wolfy, I know Sara a hell of a lot better than you ever will. Honestly, I have no idea what she said. I imagine that she made me out to be the perfect warrior. A man who will come charging to the aid of some girl whoes name I don’t know,” He gestures at the hippy, “And who hasn’t spoken to me in months”
Looking shocked the hippy asks, “You don’t know my name?”
Slightly flustered Link scratches the back of his head, “Yeah I dunno I’m terrible with names and all of that. Besides if you think about it? I don’t think its ever come up really. I always assumed it would come up somewhere, but yeah, sorry”
She smiles, “God you are so weird sometimes, well my name is-”
Angry now the wolf looking boy strides over to Sara yanking her hair viciously, “Don’t ignore me! I am still here and I have your friend,”
Link rolling his eyes, “Oh please 4 men holding her down and you pulling her hair? Now you are just making her wet. This is a girl who used to sit on my face and carve me up with a knife on Tuesday afternoons after kicking me in the nuts so hard I blacked out. I don’t think you could of picked a worse damisel in distress. Look at that she is groping one of them, Sara knock that off I’m sure they all have disiseases.” True enough she was, they weren’t so much holding her down anymore as she is making sure that they are all enjoying their close proximity to her, “So wolf man things not working out for you? This whole or else thing really doesn’t fly with me. I’ve been there, done that, and the pale rider is ten times scaryer than you are”
Alex laughs, “Jesus, yeah he is. God that is someone you didn’t even like being around. The other day I heard some kid with cards stuck in his spokes ride past, I nearly shit myself then dive tackled him. I am forever scared by that son of a bitch, even the demon doesn’t like-”
“ENOUGH” The wolf looking boy stomps his feet and produces a gun from behind his back, in a fury he levels it at Link, “Now I want you to tell to your hippy friend what it is you do with your gun every morning!”
The Hippy shrugs, as per her custom, “I already knew. He told me when he decicided he wasn’t going to do it anymore”
From off to the side they hear Sara cry out, “I told you that wouldn’t work you asshole”
Link smiles. He’s glad they caught on to what he is doing. Together they were working like a well oiled matchine rattling him in his little cage, showing him his insignifigance. Truth be told the wolf man scares the bloody hell out of Link and secretly he is relieved to have both Alex and the cowboy on his side, “Is this not quite going as planned?”
Four successive cracks came from the group now groping Sara and then there she is, standing in the midst of four unconscious bodies. Offended she sniffs at the Wolf boy, “I am not the sort of girl you send lackies to hold on to. You should have a little bit of respect. Cowboy excluded, the three of us have been though our share of shit. We know how to handle people like you, hell I am people like you. This whole thing is all wrong, I don’t know what it is you are trying to achieve here. Now put that silly thing away, try to kick Link’s ass, fail, get the shit beat out of you, and vow vengence like you know it is going to happen”
Furiouse The wolf looking man shouts at Link, “She damaged the bullet in your gun!”
They all froze. Alex, knew of course, Alex knew everything. Sara immediately distances herself from the bodies and takes up a defensive stance, the hippy starts to get ready to intercept him, and the cowboy wonders dully what the heck everyone is so worked up about. Link is the first to speak, “See now that is a way to get this thing rolling. Not all of his, or else bullshit. It true Sara?”
Two tears carying along with them mascara flow down from her eyes, “Oh fuck this shit, yes of course it is true you fucking asshole.”
Striding twords her, “What do you fucking mean you tampered with my bullets”
Looking around she sees everyone either backing away from her, or making no move twords her, gritting her teeth she decides that this is between him and her now, “Look fuck ass, what did you think. What do you think I’ve been doing to you all these fucking years”
“Ruining my god damn life that’s what”
Throwing her hands up, “Link for Christ’s sakes you were doing that stupid gun thing for at least a year before you saved my life.”
The wolf looking man goes to interupt their conversation but Alex calls out, “Come on cowboy we need to let those two work this out, this has been something to long in the making to let this asshole interupt things”. They move to grab him and as they do two of the four blonde boys get up and join the frey, creating a backdrop of intense physical violence for Link and Sara. Link looks at them out of the corrner of his eye, “I need to help them I’ll-”
She stamps her foot, “The fuck you do Link. You stay right here and you listen to what I have to say. You saved my life! Don’t you get that, you saved me. Without you I would be dead. And without me you would be dead. I did all of this to save you. I became who I am to save you. As long as you had someone to fight, to take out agression on, to keep your mind off your parents, you would be alive. I could get close enough to fuck with your bullets, and I kept you busy enough so you couldn’t just up and kill yourself proper. Most of the things I’ve done, I came to this shitty fucking school for you, to keep your worthless crybaby ass alive. Lucky for you, you really like getting the fucking shit kicked out of you”
“Well fuck me Sara, no one makes you save my life. Why the hell didn’t you just let me die like I wanted to, then would you have had to follow me up here? Yeah didn’t think so, so fuck off. You did all that shit just to fuck with my head harder and longer. Didn’t want me skipping out on all the fun we were having as you dug up progressively more dangerous psychos for me to deal with”
“Damnit, okay fine, look the pale rider was a mistake as was the white room, and half of those scars, but jesus what do you want? I am a terrible person not a heroin. I used to eat people for breakfast with a smile on my face and pom poms in heand. What the fuck did you expect me to do cuddle you and say there there, I tried that and it didn’t work”
“Yeah well you are doing a bang up job now aren’t you”
“I’d say I am, used your gun recently?”
Link stopped, he didn’t have an answer for that. Seeing his hesitation she rushes him, grabbing his shoulders she puts one knee solidly into his left nut, ensuring that when she wraps her lips around his, there is no resistance. Embracing her, more out of nessisity rather than desire he kisses her back, deep down inside, he knows, that some day somewhere she will kill him either acidently or on purpose. He’s know this long before Alex pulled him aside one day where he explained the dark future. She pulls back from him, three more blonde boys come out of the woods and the last two that she had downed earlier had gotten up. Giggling, Sara kisses Link on the cheek and then whispers in his ear, “You might have to sit this one out big boy, but come join us when you can. I am going to go help out. You know this is where you belong. You felt it as soon as you stepped onto this place. I’ll give it to you for the rest of your life, don’t you worry. Then with a wink and a laugh she skips off slashing one of the blonde boy’s faces with her nails, “There now we will be able to tell at least one of you mother fuckers apart from the others!” Laughing she becomes a whirrling dervish of pure unadulterated violence. He remembers their fights together. They were always much better than these shams the wolf looking mother fucker put on. Speaking of him he lets out a shout and points his gun at her. She laughs, sidesteps past his arm and hits him in the jaw so hard that the gun goes flying, miraculously it lands with out going off and slides directly in front of Link.
Time stops for him. The hippy has her back turned to him, she is standing off to the side of the violence watching mournfully as its unfolding before her, either unable or unwilling to help. The cowboy has gotten his hat knocked off at some point, its dangling down his back by one of those stupid strings. Simple as a cow, he doesn’t know or care what is going on. He is certainly enjoying the scrap though. He’s taken a few licks, but he’s giving them back and from the looks of thing each punch he lands feels like a back of concrete being dropped from 50 feet up. Alex surprisingly is doing well for himself. He is in the process of using his head as a bludgeoning weapon. Link smiles, he never really used the head butt until he met Alex. He always said he liked using it because it made the voices stop yelling combat directions. Everyone is bleeding, knuckles are buised, and teeth are loosened. There they are. Link realizes that he should be with them. Who is he kidding. He sought out this bar, that thing in the woods like a blood hound. He needs trouble, times of scilencre? You gotta be joking. The rest of them, all of them, are here because of him. The wolf boy and Sara they need someone to fight just as much as he needs them. Alex didn’t say why exactly but Link suspects it has to do with the white room. The hippy is here because the hippy is always here, and the cowboy, poor cowboy, he’s just a loyal as moronic dog. Keeping Sara safe from herself, just as she tried to keep Link away from himself.
Enough is enough. This is a cycle. It’s repeated four times now, all the players have changed, the location has changed, everything has changed except the cycle. Joining the fight would mean breaking a promise. Can’t be havng that now. From his left pocket he takes out a candy necklace and bites off one of the yellow ones. They taste like summer. With a smile on his lips, candy in his mouth and freedom in his heart, he picks up the gun and points it at his heart. Never shoot a martyer in the head. He shouts, “This ends now”
The last thing he hears as he pulls the trigger is the sound of both Sara and the hippy screaming no. Funny he never did learn her name.


Hey updating my note. This might be the last time I ever do this. This is because I will either learn to go on living a happy healthy free life, or something stupid will happen between Sara and either the wolf looking mother fucker, the gold lady, or the thing in the woods. For some reason I think it is going to be the latter of the two. They make me out to be the perfect warrior but I’m not. I’m physically strong because it passes the time I should be otherwise sleeping, I’m brave because tommarow shouldn’t come for me. Not like hippy who has found all these annoyingly complicated conditions through which she lives her life. That is something worth respecting, and it is the only reason why I am still wearing this ring. Not being allowed to punch anyone amazing.
There are some things I’d like to do before I die. I’d like to get to know the cowboy better. He doesn’t seem like such a bad sort. He definatly isn’t the usual sort of fare that Sara picks up on and consumes at will. Maybe I can save him from all of this.
I’d like to give the Lady in White her umbrella. I just finished it, god it took forever to do. Still I am pretty proud, that is something that isn’t going to be loosing its shine any time soon. Should I die, it is hanging by my shirts in the room please be sure she gets it.
I really want to learn the Hippy’s name. I also want her to come home and meet my parents. She is such a gentle soul. Now that I am up here and I am facing life I am not so sure about them. Am I crazy? Or were they really as bad as I think they were? If she met them she could probably tell me, it would help to give me perspective on most of this.
I kinda want to talk to bitchface. Sure sure she carved up my face. But things are rough and I’ve been there. Not to that extent but close. I think at this point she could use a friend, might as well be someone she was about to kill.
I can’t really think of, oh of fucking course. This is one of those things that is so obvious you don’t even realize it’s there. I want to reconcile with Alex, with all the parts of Alex. Of all the people I’ve met I’ve never had a more loyal friend, someone who has almost always been there for me. Also of all my friends I have never met anyone who has been so thoroughly damaged by what goes on in my life. I have no idea how, but I really want to earn his forgiveness.
That should be it. What’s in the dorm room is the sum total of my possesions. Yeah I don’t have much so take whatever you want. I might have books out from the library, please return them. Oh I also have a blank check with this note for burial expenses. Its one of my parents, just use it, forge their signature, it isn’t like it is going to bounce, and if it does fuck them. I’d like to be cremated and have my ashes sprinkled in the garden at dawn. I’d like the creepy christian girl to be there, and if possible, I’d like her to sing.
Don’t invite my parents until after the cremation. They will just meddle. Hippy please plant some daffodils in remeberance of me.
Lastly I’d like the following words read, by Sara, if Sara isn’t available (I might kill her) then Hippy please, if hippy isn’t available then I doubt any of this will be honored anyway so don’t bother:

Dawn. Some of you maybe wondering why I did what I did. Chances are I won’t be able to give you a satisfactory reason here because I am writing this ahead of time. I do not know what the circumstances of my death will be. I do know that it will more than likely be by my hand. I’m not a fighter but I’ve been fighting for almost my entire life. There’s no future in it though. People seek you out, and if they don’t find you, you end up finding them, without even meaning to or really thinking about it. The golden lady, whoever she may be, taught me that. She was a perfectly innocent ant hill that I kicked over, couldn’t leave it alone.
As I struggle to deal with this I see my friends drawn in over and over again, hurt over and over again sometimes by my mistakes, other times by the machinations of others, and sometimes by my hands. Each time this wears on me a little bit more, I am able to deal with it a little bit less. True I never feel more alive than I do before a fight, but now more and more I feel the weight crashing down on me, having to deal with the afterwards is becoming to much. As I give up the gun I am afraid. Am I really choosing life or am I finally admitting that the threat of death is to much for me and that I now need something else. It is a thought to dark even for me so I press on with hope, my face twords the sun, praying that I am wrong and I can join everyone else in their laughter as I rocket twords a completely average middle age. My what stories I’d be able to tell my grand kids should that ever happen. But I don’t think it will. Not for me at least. Life isn’t the right format for me, it never was. Even Sara was able to live a normal life still being all of who she is, Alex managed to get a girlfriend all on his own. Okay well he needed a little help. Then I came along and it all came crashing down for the both of them. Sorry.
Now look out over the dawn. The sun is rising and a new day is upon you. The first day since you met me where the stain that I am is no longer pushing down upon you. You all are free to live your lives however it is you wish. You were always free I suppose but now I am not burdening you. I with that you would all go forth into the future and to treat each day with the care, beauty, and delecacy that it deserves. For every day is truly marvelous thing, I have learned after so many years facing near death that the time we have is never something to under estimate or waste.
All of you, even you Sara, are beautiful people. Go forth with grace and love. I’ll be waiting for you, either storming the gates of heaven, or strangling Satan in the depths of hell. Or doing battle with something where ever it is I am going. Know this. It is time for me to go. I’ve been here far to long already. I’ll see you when the time is right, don’t worry. Eternity is a long time. So live well, and give me many stories to hear once you come and join me. My life is a marvelous nightmare. Thankyou all for your parts,

Now for the love of god go in peace.

No comments:

Post a Comment